Originally posted on www.oddastic.com
1.The Man Who Ate His Underwear
In October 2013, we met one of the world’s dumbest lawbreaker in the name of David Zurfluh. He was caught driving under the influence of alcohol and had run out of his vehicle leaving it running down the highway. He then had the not so brilliant idea to cheat the breathalyzer by ripping a fabric from his underwear and stuffing it in his mouth, convinced that it would absorb the alcohol and his breath won’t give him away. Boy! was that stupid.
2. The Guys Who Disguised Their Faces With Permanent Markers
McNelly and Miller nicknamed ”dumb and dumber” were arrested one friday after witnesses reported seeing two men trying to break into an apartment with beards and ‘masks’ on their faces. The police responding to the call about the attempted burglary, pulled over a car matching the alleged suspects’ car but they didn’t expect to see two men with the worst disguise ever – permanent marker scribbles on their faces. What a good laugh they had over that!
3. The Afghanistan Commander Who Turned Himself in to Claim His Own Reward.
After Nato officials were beginning to lose hope of finding Mohammad Ashan, a mid-level Taliban commander suspected of organising improvised explosive device (IED) attacks on US and Afghan troops, by putting up ‘wanted posters’, they got a pleasant but unusual surprise when Mohammad walked up to a US/Afghan Checkpoint waving a wanted poster with his face on it and demanding the $100 reward. Nato officials and Afghan Troops were at loss to understand why Mr Ashan attempted to claim a reward for his own capture.
4. The Invisibility Lemon Juice.
In 1995, McArthur Wheeler walked into two Pittsburgh banks and robbed them in broad daylight, with no visible attempt at disguise. He was arrested later that night, less than an hour after videotapes of him taken from surveillance cameras were broadcast on the 11 o’clock news. When police later showed him the surveillance tapes, Mr. Wheeler stared in incredulity. “But I wore the juice” he mumbled. Apparently, Mr. Wheeler was under the impression that rubbing one’s face with lemon juice rendered it invisible to videotape cameras.
5. The Criminal Who Tried to Rob a Gun Store With a Bat and Knives.
As the saying goes, don’t bring a knife to a gun fight. Or, in this case, don’t try to hold up a gun store with a baseball bat and a knife.
Derrick Mosley, in 2013, tried to rob a gun store but was so under-armed he ended up on the floor, taking orders from the store manager who held him at gunpoint until the police came. The would-be criminal apparently was looking to step up his weaponry – he smashed a glass display case at Discount Gun Sales and pulled a handgun from the display, the store manager then drew his own handgun and ordered the suspect to drop his bat, his 9-inch knife and the purloined handgun. When the Police came, they found the suspect on the floor. How easy was that?
6. The Woman Who Wanted Unflattering Facebook Photo Removed.
When Denise Alex-Bouzounis, public information officer of the Columbus Police Department posted 34-year-old Monica Hargrove’s mug shot to the department’s Facebook page on Sept. 10 2014, as part of a weekly roundup called “Warrant Wednesday”, she never thought that the dumbest thing would happen after.
Monica Hargrove who was reported to have robbed her car’s passenger at gunpoint called the detective’s office requesting that the photo be taken down, as it was unflattering. The detective asked her to come in so they could “talk about it”. She did.
She was promptly arrested on arrival.
7. The Criminal Who Threw Her Baby at a Police Officer.
It might not have been this Florida woman’s goal to give away her child, but that’s sure what it looked like. Ashley Taylor Wright had gone shopping at Dillard’s, and tried to shoplift $260 worth of clothing using her baby stroller. When a police officer followed her out to her car, she flipped out and eventually threw her baby in its little car seat at him. The baby was not injured. The shoplifter received three charges, including “resisting a police officer without violence”.
8. The Man Who Asked For Work From The Owners of the House He Had Earlier Robbed.
The owner of a house in Nahoon Valley Place, East London was in for a shock when he opened his front door one Sunday morning. There stood a man decked out in the house-owner shoes, socks, belt, a pair of trousers and one of his fiance’s blouses asking for gardening work.
The resident immediately went to the back garden and noticed their storeroom had been looted. Obviously pissed, he detained the criminal and called the police. The man managed to escape but was caught later on by security guards.
9. The Liquor Store Burglar Who Failed Terribly.
Confronted by a locked door, this burglar tries to scale the liquor store’s outside wall, and falls on his backside. Then he tries to drop gracefully into the shop from above, and falls on his backside. After assembling some stolen goods and failing to open the front door from the inside, the criminal tries to jump back through the hole he made in the ceiling, and falls on his backside.
Eventually the poor guy just gives up, sits down for a smoke by the door and waits for the cops to show up.
10. The Criminal Who Had a Banana For a Gun.
John Szwalla, a 17-year-old idiot from the US state of North Carolina, entered an internet cafe and demanded money, claiming he had a gun hidden under his shirt. The “gun” was actually a banana. The cafe’s owner, along with a customer, restrained John and called the police.
John ate the banana while he waited for the cops to arrive. Apparently the police joked about charging the kid with “destroying evidence”.
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